selfLESS service

Tingles of anxiety mixed with annoyance began to wash over me. I could sense someone staring at me - someone very, very close. I refused to open my eyes in hopes that "it" would disappear. Who else could be up at this unearthly hour on the streets of Tijuana, Mexico? I probably didn't want to know.

"Are you sleeping?" inquired an unfamiliar voice with a thick Mexican accent. "Praying," I curtly responded without so much as looking up. "Why are you here?" he asked in a pitiful attempt to engage my interest in this conversation. My reverent prayer time with God quickly turned into a "woe is me" moment. "Father, you know I NEED this time with you. I'm exhausted! I don't want to talk to him. Please, make me nice."

As much as I was enjoying this mission trip, I was running low on steam. Every morning I rose before the sun in a vain attempt to have a quiet worship before the rest of the mob awoke. Then it was off to the construction site where we hammered away until evening. After a quick shower, I jumped into the van every night, hauling my projector and laptop, and headed out to preach the evangelistic series at a local church. Fun? Yes. Spiritually uplifting? Yes. Exhausting? Most definitely. I coveted my morning worship time with God and wasn't thrilled about this random guy taking that away from me...

For the next few minutes, I politely chatted with Manuel, the once stranger, about our purpose for being in Tijuana, Mexico. As I shared about my faith in God and His leading in my life, Manuel began to open up about his own experience. He shared about the mistreatment he suffered at the hands of other Christians, the questions he still has about the character of God, and the dreams he holds of someday living in a safe area with a family who loves him. The sound of our deep conversation and occasional laughs brought several other missionaries out of their warm sleeping bags and into our discussion. Meanwhile, my mind began to wander...

Picture this: Christ, physically drained from yet another day of ministry, hearing the fateful news - John the Baptist was beheaded, his severed head placed upon a platter. Aside from the mother of Christ, no one else understood Jesus' mission as clearly as John did. He was the one who had prepared the way for the Messiah. He was the one who had fearlessly preached God's Word and baptized His beloved Son. And now, he was dead.

Christ departs to a desert place in a vain attempt to have solitude, but it's of no use. The multitude follows Christ. The cries of their ailing children and demon-possessed friends pierce the air. The hideous-looking lepers pitifully moan, "Unclean. Unclean." as they follow the crowd from a distance. If there ever was a time when Christ deserved to be alone, deserved to be refreshed by hallowed time with His Father, this was that time. But how did Christ respond? He was "moved with compassion" and "healed their sick" (Matthew 14:13-14). He lost all remembrance of His own pain, His own exhaustion, and focused solely upon the needs of others. Not only did He minister to their spiritual and emotional needs, He also provided the food they required for their physical needs. Only after they were filled did He depart and enjoy peaceful solitude with His Father.

Oh how much I have to learn! So often our physical exhaustion and/or emotional trauma are used as an excuse to keep us from ministry. Yet these are the very things that should drive us to it! The life of Christ epitomizes this concept. His nourishment, both physical and emotional, was received through devoted service to others, not from the absence of it (See John 4). I nearly missed a Divine appointment because I was focused on my own perceived needs instead of making the service of Christ paramount in my life…

By the grace of God, may we learn to have the same experience that Christ had while on earth, and continues to have as He ministers on our behalf in the Heavenly sanctuary: “My meat[substance] is to do the will of Him that sent me, and to finish His work” (John 4:34).